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The Picard Maneuver to LinkedinLunatics@sh.itjust.works • 16 days ago

The man is an open book to future employers.

lemmy.world

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The man is an open book to future employers.

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver to LinkedinLunatics@sh.itjust.works • 16 days ago
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  • @NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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    171•16 days ago

    I took a fat, greasy shit today.

    Yeah, I admit it.

    And I’m sure many of you out there have taken your fair share.

    But why am I bringing this up?

    For two reasons:

    1. Because no topic is off limits and
    2. Because it’s important to be aware of the consequences of eating Chipotle

    There are some things that need to be done in moderation.

    For some (including myself), questionable food is one of them.

    Be very aware of the things that if you do too much cause more harm than good.

    Carry on.

    • Boomer Humor Doomergod
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      47•16 days ago

      • @cdf12345@lemm.ee
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        45•16 days ago

        Bro, apples don’t poop. WTF

        • Pennomi
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          33•16 days ago

          They do, but only when you’re not looking.

          • @mutual_ayed@sh.itjust.works
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            21•16 days ago

            That’s not a worm?!?!?!

            • @D_C@lemm.ee
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              3•15 days ago

              Eating it is the only way to find out.

      • @edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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        11•15 days ago

      • @wieson@feddit.org
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        4•15 days ago

        bookcover

        About the little mole who wanted to know, who had made a doodoo on his head

    • @CarbonatedPastaSauce@lemmy.world
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      22•16 days ago

      More useful than the original.

    • snooggums
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      19•
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      16 days ago

      Because it’s important to be aware of the consequences of eating Chipotle

      South Park joke about Chipotle making you shit your pants

      Chipoltaway ad

    • @multiplemigs@sh.itjust.works
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      16•16 days ago

      might want to look in to getting a little more fiber in that diet if it was greasy. drink more water too.

      • @TrickDacy@lemmy.world
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        7•16 days ago

        Ok coca cola corp

    • Balder
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      8•16 days ago

      This cracked me up.

    • @biofaust@lemmy.world
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      5•15 days ago

      As a European, the only information I have about Chipotle is that makes you shit greasy and greatly. Sounds like something straight out of Idiocracy from here.

      • @NOT_RICK@lemmy.world
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        3•15 days ago

        It’s not actually bad as long as the chipotle you go to is decent. I’ve never had trouble eating it; was only joking. They use fresh ingredients which is more than a lot of American fast food can say

  • @andros_rex@lemmy.world
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    78•16 days ago

    The “Carry on” at the end - like he’s stopped you in the street to share this nugget of wisdom, and is giving you a firm pat on the shoulder before sending me on your way.

    • @ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      42•16 days ago

      I like to think he is saying that to himself because he interrupted his porn binge to post this.

      • @krashmo@lemmy.world
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        10•16 days ago

        Nothing like a good wank to clear the mind and uncover fundamental truths about the universe

        • @ddash@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          4•16 days ago

          I am not sure he was done yet.

    • @ratel@mander.xyz
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      20•15 days ago

      • @MonkeMischief@lemmy.today
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        2•15 days ago

  • @AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com
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    70•
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    3 days ago

    deleted by creator

    • @TriflingToad@sh.itjust.works
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      62•15 days ago

      just for shits and giggles I went through the last 7 days of your comments and took notes:

      • UK citizen (uses currency and talks about local chocolate brands)
      • SteamDeck owner
      • soccer/football fan
      • gamer
      • DRM hater
      • frequent videogame pirate (knows the name of a less popular repacker)
      • work at job about shoes
      • doesn’t have a foot fetish
      • boycotting the US
      • Porn watcher (probs older bc you referenced a specific one and people don’t do that nowadays)

      From this I would have to call every shoe stores in the UK to inform them that there is a miniscule chance their employee watches porn in their free time.

      I wasted like 20m on this lol

      And to be fair I’m not any better, I doxxed my full location on lemmy once accidentally 😂

      • @Valmond@lemmy.world
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        9•15 days ago

        Except for the foot things; that doesn’t narrow it down at all!

        • @biofaust@lemmy.world
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          4•15 days ago

          Given access to the right data, even just the first 2 bits would narrow it down a lot.

          • @Valmond@lemmy.world
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            1•15 days ago

            It’s a joke that we all are similar to OP.

      • @ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        8•15 days ago
        • boycotting the US

    • @Sandal6823@sh.itjust.works
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      16 days ago

      Anonymous? I know your E Mail, IP Address and will analyze all your previous posts

      • @edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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        29•15 days ago

      • @chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        7•15 days ago

        Is email really visible, I thought that wasn’t displayed publicly. I don’t see your email

        • @modus@lemmy.world
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          15 days ago

          It’s only visible to you. Everyone else sees it censored. Here’s mine in plaintext: xxxxxxx@xxxxx.xxx

          You shouldn’t see my email address. Only yours.

          • @DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
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            34•15 days ago

            ibangedmodussmom@hotmail.com

          • @xthexder@l.sw0.com
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            10•15 days ago

            I’m disappointed… It looks like all the x.xxx domains were registered in 2012 and are just parked (or maybe the register reserved them? I can’t tell). It would have been fun if this could be a real email.

        • @Sandal6823@sh.itjust.works
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          5•15 days ago

          It’s visible if I pay $500 to the admins

    • snooggums
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      9•16 days ago

      Settle down Francis.

    • @Agent641@lemmy.world
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      4•15 days ago

      Ok Jaden

  • @RobotZap10000@feddit.nl
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    52•16 days ago

    “No topic is off limits” and “Be aware of indulgences in your life” are, in my opinion, great pieces of advice that you should apply to your close ones. However, LinkedIn is definitely not the place for this.

    • @zeca@lemmy.eco.br
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      13•
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      16 days ago

      as someone that never took anything worthwhile out of linkedin, i kind of like that people post this stuff there :P

    • BarqsHasBite
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      9•16 days ago

      This is solidly Facebook.

  • @corroded@lemmy.world
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    45•16 days ago

    It’s amazing how someone’s job description can say “Scammer” in so many more words.

    • @edgemaster72@lemmy.world
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      2•15 days ago

      They even scam you out of your time making you read so many superfluous words

  • @nimble@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    41•16 days ago

    I had to look up what “digital real estate” is and best i can tell it’s something like real estate in the metaverse, hoarding website domains, or some other bullshit

    • @mutual_ayed@sh.itjust.works
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      23•
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      16 days ago

      The future is a dead mall. If you have the time, this is a great documentary on it. Line Only Goes Up is great by him too.

      https://archive.org/details/the-future-is-a-dead-mall-decentraland-and-the-metaverse

      • CurlyWurlies4All
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        8•15 days ago

        Just about everything Dan Olson does is amazing

        • @mutual_ayed@sh.itjust.works
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          4•15 days ago

          Mantracks is amazing

    • @Valmond@lemmy.world
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      2•15 days ago

      Apparently they look at a lot of porn.

  • Rose56
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    25•15 days ago

    Linkedin is comedy heaven, I always lough with the content.

  • @Delphia@lemmy.world
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    22•15 days ago

    Theres 2 kinds of men, those who jerk off and fucking liars.

    • @mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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      20•15 days ago

      true but… linkedin?

      linkedin?

    • beleza pura
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      2•15 days ago

      me when i jack off to sleep in the cafeteria

  • @HorreC@lemmy.world
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    18•16 days ago

    you mean the same porn industry that makes billions a year, you mean you are the single person funding them! I couldnt think that people watch that stuff.

    • @Case@lemmynsfw.com
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      11•16 days ago

      Just like that one kid who got caught buying a dime bag of weed. They directly and solely funded terrorism.

      • @HorreC@lemmy.world
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        6•16 days ago

        It has to be true no one else did the drugs!

    • @Tartas1995@discuss.tchncs.de
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      1•15 days ago

      Wow, that pay cheque…

  • @TabbsTheBat@pawb.social
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    18•16 days ago

    Imagine not looking at porn at work, couldn’t be me

  • @FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world
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    16•15 days ago

    There are A LOT of things that are off limits in the workplace.

  • @the_q@lemm.ee
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    13•16 days ago

    Capitalism is a helluva drug.

  • @friend_of_satan@lemmy.world
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    13•15 days ago

  • @Formfiller@lemmy.world
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    10•15 days ago

    TMI dude

    • @ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      5•15 days ago

      Worked with a guy who was obsessed with Tim Ferris and his ‘Opening the Kimono’ philosophy on transparency.

      Dude took it really far when he pushed for nude events and “Tell All’s” at our company retreat.

      Later quit to run some crypto scam.

  • @RowRowRowYourBot@sh.itjust.works
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    7•16 days ago

    He’s got a very valid point with #2 though

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